After being captured and tortured by the psychopath Otis, teen cheerleader Riley Lawson escapes and informs her parents, who quickly sidestep sluggish FBI agents and take matters into their own hands. But the Lawsons' revenge plan hits a snag when Otis's unusual brother enters the picture.

Soon after his insufferably arrogant father wins the Nobel Prize for chemistry, Barkley Michaelson is kidnapped by Thaddeus James, a young genius who claims to be Barkley's illegitimate half-brother. Motivated not so much by money as revenge, Thaddeus tries to convince Barkley to help him carry out a multimillion-dollar extortion plot ...

Reclusive vampires lounge in a lonely American town. They wear sunscreen to protect themselves. A descendant of Van Helsing arrives with hilarious consequences.

Charlie and Rachel run away from home to get married in Las Vegas. But they get attacked by a zombie who takes Rachel with him to hell, where she will become one of Satan's brides.

The second coming is upon us, and Jesus has returned to earth. But before he can get down to the serious business of judging the living and the dead, he has to contend with an army of vampires that can walk in the daylight.